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One of the most powerful ways to create an intimate connection with your partner and make her feel truly loved and cared for is to include her in the process of your life.
Including your partner in your life means:
Share the details of your daily experiences.
When you share with your mate about what goes on during your day, it allows her to harmonize more with you and feel closer since she understands what you've experienced. Talking about your everyday experiences invites her more deeply into your life, and that creates a powerful sense of connection, as if your two separate worlds are linked together as one.
Inform her about problems or difficulties you 're facing.
Conventional wisdom plus thousands of years of conditioning tells a man to shield the woman he loves from his problems—that if he appears to be weak or not know the answer, he will lose her affection. Nothing could be farther from the truth. An emotionally healthy woman will feel even closer to you when you share your difficulties, because she will realize you are opening your heart to her. One wife said:
"When my husband tells me he's feeling down or sad or insecure about something, my heart just opens up even wider to him. It makes me feel like he really trusts me. To tell you the truth, it's one of the most intimate things he can do."
Remember: Shared vulnerability creates intimacy. Besides, hiding problems never works—she will feel it anyway, and the act of not reaching out to her will make her feel you don't value her. More about this later.
Involve her in decisions you need to make that affect her.
So many women mentioned this point in the surveys and interviews I did for this book. When a man internalizes his thinking or decision-making process, and doesn't discuss it with his partner, it makes her feel very left out and disconnected. I know many men don't do this on purpose, nor do they want their mate to feel shut out. But this is, indeed, the effect it has.
"I feel so disconnected from my husband when he disengages and acts in isolation," one woman told me. "He makes decisions alone without asking for my opinion, as if I don't exist. He just goes ahead on his own and shuts me out of the process, like that part of his life has nothing to do with me."
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